As you can tell by my first post I'm easily the most amazing person ever. I'm not so much a person as I am an enigma of amazing.

Now you're asking "J. Christ if you're this great, what does that make me?"

Well here's you're answer. You suck.

So you ask "But why do I suck (wah wah wah I like to cry)?"

To me this is a pretty obvious answer. You were born as someone who is not me. That's pretty much how it works. You're either me, or you suck.